A lot has been said about Charlie Kirk’s murder. Both sides, extremism, violent rhetoric, yadda yadda yadda…it’s taken me a week to decide what I wanted to say about it all.
So let me tell you about the situation my household faces.
I am a straight white conservative male. My wife is liberal. My oldest is transgendered, middle child is pansexual, and youngest is autistic. I don’t think my family is typical, but at the same time, this kind of mixing of ideologies is hardly uncommon, even if the ratios vary widely.
If you take everything being said, on all sides, then my transgendered child is in danger from me—and I am in danger from them.
Am I living in fear? No, my oldest is one of the gentlest, sweetest people I know. We have worked very hard to maintain a relationship despite our ideological differences, and I have made it clear that I would defend them from any harm, no matter where it came from.
Still, they were glad that Charlie Kirk was dead and believed it to be a justified murder.
And here I must make two things clear: they weren’t dancing with joy, or hoping for more deaths, and my wife quickly pointed out to them how dangerous it can be to not even consider the means of his death, or the family left behind to mourn him.
I said nothing, because I’m not sure how much my children believe that words are violence, and I do not want to find out.
Other families struggle with the inverse, where someone is hiding their gender dysmorphia or homosexuality because they are afraid to talk to their conservative or religious family about it, which may be the case with the assassin. It doesn’t matter in the end which side feels shut out, or is afraid to speak, or doesn’t know how to have a conversation without it becoming an argument.
What matters is whether or not we want to figure out how to talk to each other, even disagree with each other, without killing each other.
That was Charlie Kirk’s whole schtick. He wanted to know what people thought, challenge their assumptions, and have his challenged in return. He said more than once that if we can’t talk to each other, that’s when violence starts. I’ve seen him act smug, combative, irritated…and also compassionate, patient, and kind. He did the best he could to build bridges, share his beliefs, and persuade people to get along, even if they didn’t agree on things.
And now that he’s gone? A Pandora’s Box has been opened in American culture. And it pains me to have to explain what that means.
In Greek mythology, Pandora was the first woman, crafted by the gods with every blessing, and given a box that they warned her never to open. The gods, however, had also given her an insatiable curiosity. She resisted opening the box for a long time, but eventually couldn’t stand it, and tried to just take a little peek. The lid sprang fully open, however, and out poured all the miseries of the world: hate, anger, disease, deceitfulness, sorrow…and at the very bottom, hope.
Charlie Kirk’s death released an awful lot of ill into American society. Plenty of it has been lurking just below the surface for years, but now everyone can see it, and it’s not going to subside anytime soon. But there is a spark of hope, that it will allow us to address things more honestly with each other and even bring reasonable people together to guard against future violence.
In the meantime, I wish I could wrap my family together some place safe from the anger I feel all around us. And it hurts my soul that there are those who wish to drive us apart and make it impossible to continue loving each other. And are working hard to make us hate each other.
I figured more like that. As I said I was being picky. So thank you for your clarification.
> My oldest is transgendered, middle child is pansexual, and youngest is autistic.
I'm sorry about your children.